


Jitters

by imdisappointingmyparents



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Adolescence is a Trying Time, Anxiety, Discussions of sex, F/F, F/M, First Meetings, Gen, Interconnected oneshots, Jess Comes to the Disturbing Realization That All Her Friends Are Dorks, Making Out, Matchmaking, Multi, Mutual Pining, Romantic Outings, Romantically Incompetent Dorks, Sexual Repression, Takes Place When The Gang is Still in High School, Way Too Much Money Is Spent on Italian Food, elaborate schemes, mentions of divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 18:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5712223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imdisappointingmyparents/pseuds/imdisappointingmyparents
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world of romance is new, strange and terrifying when you're a teenager.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jitters

**Author's Note:**

> This work has not been beta read. There may be minor errors in grammar/punctuation.
> 
> Please note that an anxiety attack is talked about at one point, but the attack proper is not actually seen.

Jessica didn’t know the difference between a hamster and a guinea pig. Yeah, she knew they were different animals and that one was bigger than the other but if you gave her one of each and asked her to name them she’d be guessing at best. She’d been told the difference before but even then could never keep them straight. Whatever. Sue the girl. She was allergic, so it wasn’t like she could have either, anyway. This she’d learned at a birthday party when she was five. One of her friends from ballet class, Amanda, had just gotten a guinea pig from her parents and was excitedly showing him off to her friends, inviting them to hold and pet him. Jess had taken her turn and within an hour her eyes had swollen completely shut and Dad Charlie was rushing her to the doctor. After all was said and done and the swelling was more or less gone, she’d sat on the exam table swinging her little legs and listening to the rustle and crackle of the paper sheet beneath her while Dad Charlie talked with Doctor Crane. Doctor Crane was pretty and young, with shoulder-length blonde hair swept off to one side. Her kind green eyes had sparkled when Dad Charlie mentioned Jess’ age.

“You know,” she’d said, “I have a daughter who’s just about the same age as her. We’re new to the area, so Samantha’s looking for some kids her age to play with.”

“That sounds like it could be fun,” Dad Charlie had replied, then turned to his daughter and asked, “What do you think, Jessie? Want to have a play date with Samantha?”

“Does she have any hamsters?” Jess had asked.

“No, no, just a couple doggies,” Doctor Crane had told her. “We’d make sure they wouldn’t bother you. And it was a guinea pig that made your allergies act up, just so you know. Guinea pigs are bigger and calmer.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry, it’s a common mistake,” the doctor had chuckled. She’d given Jess a lollipop (cherry, her favorite) and made arrangements for Jess to meet Samantha at a park the following week. It had been a bit stilted at first—Jess was much more inclined to play with dolls than climb about on the playground and play in the dirt—but their mutual love of big dogs, jump houses and anything cherry flavored had proved to be enough to lay the foundations for a lasting friendship.

And in such long-lasting friendships, you’re privy to some pretty juicy secrets. Such as Sam’s ridiculously elaborate plan for her six-month anniversary with Beth. Sam was an indecisive person, so the exact details tended to change (a lot), but the core plan involved a day trip to the Santa Monicas, an abandoned-looking-but-actually-secretly-refurbished-to-look-really-nice-and-romantic-on-the-inside cabin ostensibly hidden away up there, some scented candles, and a meteor shower. Knowing Sam and Beth’s luck it’d probably (inevitably) end up blowing up in their faces, but it was sweet to see Sam get so worked up over making the night special.

If any of Jessica's anniversaries had been half as romantic, she’d have counted it as one of the rare miracles of the universe.

“I’m just worried I’ll screw it up,” Sam admitted, “With the cabin and the bed and...I mean, what if I come on too strong or make her think I’m, like, plotting to seduce her or something?”

“Well, _aren’t_ you plotting to seduce her?” Jess pointed out.

“Well, kind of...I mean, it'd be nice,” Sam said, “But—you know what I mean. Like I’m just buttering her up for sex and I don’t actually enjoy her company. And I don't want to force her into anything.”

“Sam, _come on,_ ” Jess said, “People who are using people for sex would not go through all that effort just to make it a nice night. They’d just boink ‘em and bail, you know? Besides, you know Beth. Even if the whole thing goes to hell in a handbasket she’ll still have a good time, just ‘cause she got to spend time with you.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” Jessica gave her long-time friend a pat on the back. “You got this, sextronaut.”

She wished she had her camera around. The shade of red that Sam was turning was a once in a lifetime sight.

\------------ 

“Alright, I got it,” Josh pronounced. Chris hit pause and John Marston froze mid-stride. He looked up from the TV. Josh was sitting on the couch with that familiar scheming look in his eyes, his copy of _Good Omens_ forgotten on his lap.

“Okay,” Chris said, a little warily, “What have you got?”

“How you’ll finally get Strawberry Shortcake from your AP Calc class to fall for you!”

“Oh really?” Chris asked. “What makes this plan different from the last eight?”

“Elementary, Watson,” Josh said. “You’re gonna save her from peril!”

“I’m gonna _what?_ ”

“She’ll get put in some harmless, imaginary danger, and you’re gonna play the hero and bridal-carry her to safety. Easy peasy.”

“If I had until the Big Crunch, I still wouldn’t have run out of reasons why that’s a bad idea,” Chris protested.

“Now, now, Christopher. The human race is full of skeptics, but it is those that defy them that make history. Come on, it’ll be epic. Movie material, even.”

“The fact that the son of a career horror movie director is telling me that my attempt to get a girl to like me is ‘movie material’ is a little bit worrying.”

“Look, bro,” Josh said, “I’m not talking, like, pointing a gun at her or something. We’d have somebody…I dunno…pretend to steal her purse and then you could chase ‘em down and bring it back to her and she’d be all”—he imitated a swooning damsel—“ ‘Oh, Chris, thank you _so_ much,’ And then you’d be like ‘It wasn’t a’”—dramatic pause—“ ‘big deal’.” He smiled, pleased with himself, and looked at Chris expectantly.

“Or I could just talk to her. You know, like a normal person.”

“Oh?” Josh smirked. “How’s that working out for you?”

“I—well, I mean, we’ve talked, like…a c-couple times. Like…you know…it’s, like, we’ve talked,” he spluttered.

“Eloquent as ever, Cochise.”

Chris shook his head and sighed. Josh was impossible to argue with once his wheels started turning. That said, he’d be lying if he said he’d never fantasized about playing the hero. Especially if the end result was the gratitude of a pretty girl.

“So? What do you say? Wanna give it a whirl?” Josh asked, with a look of smug satisfaction on his face. He’d already won.

“I’ll think about it,” Chris grumbled.

“Alright! Now, if that pyrotechnics guy Dad knows is still in town—”

“Josh, _no_.”

\------------

Matt was a lot of things. One of those things, more often than not, was late. This was not usually much of a problem. His friends were understanding, his parents forgiving. His teachers had come to expect it of him and just shot him an irritated look when he’d slide into class five minutes after the bell. Even the notoriously punctual Emily would just roll her eyes and put away her homework when Matt showed up late for their tutoring sessions, all apologies and sheepish smiles. There were three exceptions to this rule: church, practice, and Lauren Taylor. The latter was his current girlfriend, a mildly paranoid girl who got a wary look in her eyes whenever she saw Matt talking with Jess or Em or Hannah and sent him a barrage of worried, vaguely accusatory texts whenever he neglected to show up to a date on time.

Lauren made up for her distrustful streak by being generally quite sweet the rest of the time, slipping flowers and presents into his locker and cheering her heart out at his games. Of course, it also helped that she was, by most people’s standards, considerably attractive, but that went without saying. The football team got their pick of the cutest girls, and being chosen by a team member was typically seen as a tremendous honor. Of course, being chosen by Mike Munroe tended to give one even more of a status boost, but most girls knew better than to get their hopes up over him. Didn’t stop anybody from pining for him, though. Matt found Mike more sleazy than charming, but he supposed that was probably just the jealousy talking.

The girls Matt dated were pretty. The girls Mike dated were gorgeous.

One of Mike’s girls in particular was popping up in his head more often than he’d care to admit. And Lauren, apparently, had sensed it. She said nothing as Matt locked up his bike and bounded over to the bench where she sat waiting. Matt offered a smile and a kiss on the cheek, neither of which did a thing to soften her rather icy expression. It was the only cold thing in the entire damn city, Matt thought. It had been an unseasonably hot September, and that afternoon was no different. The line in the ice cream shop behind their bench ran out the door.

“Sorry I’m late,” Matt told her. “Me and Em ran a bit long today.”

“Oh?” Lauren’s voice was a little strained, like she was trying to force her suspicion out of her mind with her voice alone. “What were you two…covering?”

“Absolute value functions,” he said, hoping that his words were quick enough to not sound like a lie but slow enough to not sound like he’d been planning what to say in case the question came up (he had been planning exactly that, but that was beside the point).

“Oh,” she said, still not sounding terribly convinced, “I, uh, I hated Algebra II.” She added a nervous chuckle and Matt thought he might be in the clear.

“Math is really not my strong suit,” Matt told her, leaning into her a little in an attempt to warm her up a bit, “Em’s the only reason I’m even passing right now.”

“So you and she are close then?” Lauren asked, in a tone that was probably meant to sound casual.

“I mean—” Matt rubbed the back of his neck and thought. “I guess. Like, we’re friends. We hang out. But we wouldn’t, like, die for each other, you know?”

“Oh,” Lauren said, “Okay.”

Neither of them said anything. Cars roared by and the children in the line behind them giggled and shouted. Lauren coughed.

“Tell you what,” Matt said after the silence became unbearable, “I feel like I haven’t been super attentive lately, and that’s all on me. So why don’t we go to that nice Italian place you like and I’ll pay for it? To make it up to you?”

To his amazement and relief, Lauren lit up for the first time since he’d arrived.

“That sounds really nice. Tomorrow night?”

“Whenever works best for you, babe,” Matt replied.

“Great!” Lauren chirped, returning in an instant to the sugary girl she normally was. “Seven-thirty?”

“Seven-thirty it is.”

The two got up and walked hand-in-hand down the street. But even as the sunlight hit his face and Lauren talked animatedly about the goings-on in cross-country, he couldn’t stop himself from wondering, just for a second, what Emily was doing at that moment.

\------------

What Emily was doing at that moment, incidentally, was panicking. She was standing in front of her bedroom mirror, evaluating the eleventh potential date outfit she’d tried on in the past twenty minutes. More crucially, she was trying to figure out how in the hell she was going to survive the following night. She’d been taking note of Mike’s body language when he’d brought up the idea for a dinner date, and the way his eyes had gleamed and his mouth had curved into a smirk had told her that he was planning to enjoy a whole lot more than a nice meal.

It made her stomach curl to think of how little time she had to prepare, of how easy it would be to fuck the whole thing up. There was absolutely no room for error. If she slipped up even a little he’d back out immediately, and word would spread like wildfire that she was Mike Munroe’s one unfuckable girlfriend. The girl who was so neurotic and bitchy that _oh of course she’s still a virgin, what self-respecting guy would ever want her? I wouldn’t touch her with a fifty-foot pole._

Emily sat down on her bed and tried to collect herself. She could do this. Of course she could. She had a 4.0, had gotten gold at every gymnastics competition she’d ever been involved in, and had actually made her opponent cry during cross examination at an intra-school debate competition last spring. It’s not like bedding some pompous ass with a silver tongue and a nice face would present a challenge.

Of course, the fact that she’d strategically left out the fact of her virginity throughout their courtship would be a bit troublesome. Mike had been with enough women that Em was confident he’d have no difficulty whatsoever spotting recent additions to the Slut Club. Furthermore, her knowledge of sex was limited to an online health class she’d wanted to get out of the way so she could take more AP’s; as well as what she’d picked up from Jessica’s tales of her languid sexcapades. There was something vaguely pathetic about looking for answers on the Internet, and the thought of asking one of her more experienced friends embarrassed her beyond belief, but at this point she was running out of options. What was she going to do, call up Jess and ask her how to properly fuck somebody?

Within five minutes she was dialing Jessica’s number.

“Hey sexy,” Jessica greeted, “What’s shaking?”

“I might be dead within the next seventy-two hours,” Emily deadpanned.

“Oh dear,” Jess said, “That doesn’t sound fun. What’s killing you?”

“Well, nothing yet,” Em replied, “But Mike and I are going on a date tomorrow night and I think he wants to, like, do it. After.”

“Wait,” Jess said, “Does Mike know you’re a—”

“No. That’s kind of my whole problem.”

“Gotcha. And you’re worried that if it doesn’t go well the bitches at school will latch onto that and make your life hell.”

“Hence the dying.”

“I see.” Jessica clicked her tongue and paused. “So you’re basically asking for a lesson?”

A beat of silence passed between them.

“I, uh, didn’t mean it like that,” Jess said after a moment, sounding much less confident than before, “I’d, like, tell you what to do and expect and bring and stuff. That, um, that sound good?”

Emily ignored the fluttering feeling in her stomach. She was glad Jess didn’t mean what she momentarily thought she meant, but it was a little bit amusing to imagine Jessica giving out sex lessons like Emily gave out math lessons. She pictured Jess leaning back on a velvet couch, spreading her legs and saying in an encouraging voice, “Okay, ready to try out what I just taught you? I just wanna make sure you’re ready for the exam.”

“Em? You still there?”

“Uh, y-yeah,” Emily stammered. “So, like, what do I do first?”

\------------ 

She’d never had the guts to try out at any of the auditions at school, but Hannah often liked to imagine herself as a glamorous Hollywood actress. She and Beth had gotten a bit part as creepy twins in one of their dad’s movies when they were kids, but that was about it for Hannah’s acting career. Kind of dispiriting when one’s ultimate goal is to stand, beautiful and gracious, in a sexy and exorbitantly expensive white dress while giving the best acceptance speech in the history of the Academy Awards.

So when an acting opportunity presented itself to her, she did what any true starving actor would do and jumped at the chance. Of course, this particular “opportunity” was to dress in black and wear a mask while making off with a girl’s purse, but Josh had reassured her that it was all fun and games, no property was actually being stolen, and the whole operation was to help Chris finally get laid. The whole scenario was one of the most bizarre things she’d heard of in her life (partially because of the plan itself and partially because she was simply unaccustomed to hearing “Chris” and “laid” in the same sentence).

But it was a chance to help out a friend, and to build up her acting repertoire, so who was she to say no?

“We all have to start somewhere on the path to glory,” she imagined her sexy future self saying before rows and rows of Hollywood stars, all bursting with admiration and envy in equal measure, “We all have to make sacrifices. But in the end, it’s all part of our own essential journey.”

She was mentally revising her sexy future self’s monologue later that evening as she helped Sam load up her jeep for her upcoming day trip. Her best friend had sworn her to secrecy for fear of spoiling the surprise, and Hannah, ever the loyal retainer, had kept her vow. All Beth knew was that Sam wanted to hang out with her, and that she should bring a good pair of boots and clothes she didn’t mind getting dirty. A night hike and a meteor shower; it was so very Sam and Beth that it made Hannah happy just to think about it (which was weird, because Beth was her little sister and she ought to have been more suspicious of Sam, but there was no one on earth she trusted more than Sam, so if anyone was going to date her sister, it might as well be the one person she knew would never ever hurt her).

Still though, it sometimes felt like all of her friends were suddenly getting laid and she’d somehow missed whatever bus they’d hopped onto. Oh well. Her time was coming, a time full of starring roles and designer shoes and boys clamoring for her attention.

One day stupid handsome Mike Munroe would see her and rue the day he ever passed her by.

\------------ 

She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, writing brief annotations on sticky notes and pressing them onto the pages of a school copy of _Their Eyes Were Watching God_ , when her phone rang. Ashley looked up from her homework, startled. She didn’t have many friends back in Salem, and she was too shy to get too cozy with anyone at her new school, so the only people who really called her were her parents; but her mom was washing dishes downstairs, and she’d blocked her dad’s number. So who the hell was calling her? How’d they even get her number?

Ashley let it ring and returned to her work, trying not to think about it. Probably just a wrong number, she told herself. Honestly, she hated how worked up she got over phone calls and strangers at the door. It seemed like her brain was determined to make her overthink everything and always assume the worst. She sighed and closed her book, watching Prospero curled up at the foot of her bed and envying his carefree existence. She reached out and scratched the tabby behind his ears. Outside her window the sun was just dipping below the horizon. There was going to be a meteor shower the following night, and she and her mother planned to take their telescope out to the hills and watch. They’d have to get out a ways to be relatively free of light pollution, but finally finding beauty in the smog-choked skies would be worth it.

Ashley was just about to return to her homework when the phone rang again. Again she simply sat and let it ring, too nervous to check it. Again, ridiculous; she probably wouldn’t even recognize the number and would feel no need to pick up were she to check. Yet still she remained rooted to the spot. Prospero uncurled himself and stretched out on the bed with a long _brrrrt_ before hopping off the bed and slipping out of her bedroom door. For absolutely no logical reason, this sparked her to go over to her phone and check the number. She didn’t know it. Ashley sighed and let it ring out before flopping back down on her bed. She found she suddenly didn’t have the energy to get back to her work, and, honestly, who does all their homework on a Friday night anyway?

She was just about to pull out her laptop and marathon Season Three of _Buffy_ when she heard a ping from her phone. Whoever had called her had left a voicemail. _Third time’s the charm,_ she thought with some resignation, and picked up her phone one last time.

“Hey, Ashley, um. It’s Chris. Chris, uh, Chris Anders. Sorry to call you out of the blue like this. I just, uh, saw your name in the student directory, and, like, I guess it was just your cell. That’s kinda weird though, like, shouldn’t it be your mom’s phone or a landline or—ah, shit. I’m sorry. It’s not weird; I’m just being a dumbass. Christ, this is terrible, I’m sorry. I, uh, I guess I was just wondering if, like, you maybe wanted to hang out? Tomorrow? Downtown? It’s totally cool if you say no. Like, no pressure. I’ll, uh, stop calling and leave you alone now. Uh, bye.”

The message ended with a shrill beep and Ashley put down her phone and thought. They’d talked before class maybe once, but it had just been some mindless chat about the weather or something. She knew next to nothing about Chris, apart from the fact that he was a fairly good student and he seemed to be cold all the time. But there was something about his fumbling, awkward invitation that spoke to her on a spiritual level. He seemed like the kind of person who cried after watching _Toy Story 3_. She could use a friend like that.

Hell, she could use friends in general.

She typed a quick text and sent it to the number of the caller:

 

**hi Chris**

**hanging out sounds like fun. just name the time and place**

**—Ashley**

\------------

Sam rarely took charge in their relationship, and when she did, she was timid and cautious at most. So Beth was pleasantly surprised to see her girlfriend bounding up the trail with a map held firmly in her hands, calling out “this way!” in a loud, commanding voice as she led Beth up the mountain. Beth was so used to taking charge, of her siblings, of the cello section, even sometimes of her friends, that it was nice to take a backseat for a bit and let somebody else call the shots for a bit. Too much responsibility all at once can drain a person.

Besides, Sam’s little expedition captain routine was kind of hot.

They’d left early in the morning, Hannah towing Beth across their front lawn and over to Sam’s waiting jeep while Beth rubbed sleep from her eyes and thought wistfully of her probably-still-warm bed. Normally Beth had no problem with getting up early or meeting up with Sam, but Saturday was her one day off and she liked to sleep in.

“It’ll be worth it,” Hannah had told her, “Trust me.”

They’d driven in companionable silence, Beth watching the cold blue sky slowly light up with the coming sun. Honestly, it would’ve been worth it just to watch the sun rise over the California scrublands while sitting back in an unexpectedly comfortable chair and feeling the warmth of the beautiful girl beside her. Sam and nature had become practically inseparable in Beth’s mind; neither could exist for long in her headspace without calling the other to mind. Her eyes reminded Beth of pine needles glistening with rainwater; thunderstorms of her sudden protective fury when one of her friends was in danger.

Presently, Sam reminded her of a sparrow, flitting excitedly about and practically hopping with each step. That was, until they got to whatever was indicated on Sam’s map. Sam frowned at the rocks and brush before them. She looked back down at her map and up again.

“What’s wrong, Sam?” Beth asked.

“It’s uh,” Sam mumbled, looking beyond embarrassed, “It’s not here.”

“What’s not here?”

“Uh,” Sam trailed off, turning the color of condensed tomato soup, before bounding off in another direction. “Maybe it’s just down the trail a ways,” she said, “Or along the ridge, maybe? Or…”

Beth followed after her girlfriend, wondering what, exactly, she was going on about. They’d been hiking for hours now, and the late afternoon sun beat down hard on the two of them. Beth took a swig of water from her canteen and hoped the two of them wouldn’t get too lost.

\------------

Jesus flaming dragon balls, he was hungry. Mike and just gotten done with his shift at the garage and he had about two hours to kill before his date. His grandma would scold him for having a snack so close to dinnertime, but if he was going to do what he planned to do that night, he was going to need all the energy he could get. Besides, he felt like eating a horse anyway, and at a certain point, there was no telling his stomach “no” anymore. There was a convenience store that he and his friends frequented a short while away. He could head down there, grab some beef jerky and nachos, and get back to his place with enough time to throw on something nice.

The automatic doors opened before him and as he walked in he was momentarily overtaken by harsh fluorescent lights and the sound of just-loud-enough-to-be-annoying music playing over the speakers. Mike made a beeline for the counter. There was a short line, and as he stood and waited to make his order, he let his gaze wander to the slushie machine, where he noticed Josh and Chris standing about. Josh looked like he was going over some kind of plan with Chris, who looked beyond terrified.

“Hey! Guys!” Mike called out to them.

“Hey slut!” Josh called back, “What’s on the menu tonight?”

“Not you, unfortunately,” Mike replied, “I wouldn’t want to be a homewrecker in your passionate romance with nerdboy there, would I?”

“Well, seeing as I’m losing my beloved husband here”—he put his hand on Chris’s shoulder and Chris looked about ready to kill his dear old pal—“to a sweet little redhead later this very day, I’d say I’m gonna be a free agent pretty soon here. Whatcha say, Munroe? Feel like changing plans?”

“Afraid not,” Mike said, “Tonight I have an audience with the exquisite Emily Tanaka-Clarke, who will put my head on a spike if I’m not on my best behavior.”

“She’ll probably put your head on a spike anyway,” Chris commented.

“Somebody needs to,” Josh replied. At this point, people were staring at them, but Mike didn’t much care. He was laughing with his friends about seducing a pretty girl. Given that they were in a convenience store, he figured this alone made him the happiest, most successful man in the joint.

“Easy with the spiking there, Joshy-boy,” Mike laughed, “Take me out to dinner first.”

\------------

Ashley sat on the library steps, scrolling through Tumblr on her phone and trying to ease her jitters. Her attempts to calm down had not been very successful. Who calls somebody completely out of the blue and asks them to “just hang out”? This “Chris” guy was probably a murderer or something. Didn’t that stammering little phone call seem a little deliberate in its awkwardness? If he was really that nervous, wouldn’t he have just texted? And how did he get her cell phone number in the first place? “Student directory”, her foot. God, what had Ashley been thinking? She was about to get killed by Jack the Ripper in Nerd Glasses, and she was just sitting there going through her freaking Tumblr like an idiot—

“Ashley?”

Ashley looked up to find a tall, thickset boy with messy blonde hair and glasses standing a little to her right. He looked as though he was trying to make up a clever greeting on the spot. Ashley tried (with limited success) to beat him to the punch.

“Meeting somebody at the library on a Saturday,” she said, “How, um, nerd-a-riffic of you.”

_“Nerd-a-riffic?” Seriously, Ashley?_

“Now, now, don’t write me off just yet,” Chris responded, “Beneath this humble exterior lies a man of mystery.” He did a little flourish and Ashley giggled in spite of herself. For a guy who was probably plotting to murder her and/or sell her organs on the black market, he seemed pretty chill. Maybe this wouldn’t end as catastrophically as she’d feared.

“So, what’s the game plan, Mr. Man of Mystery?” she asked.

“Well,” Chris said after a moment of thought, “There’s this coffee shop a few blocks over that’s pretty cool. Does that sound good to you?”

“That sounds terrific,” Ashley said.

“Alright,” Chris said, “Let’s move out then, Ash.”

Now that felt weird. Nobody had ever given her a nickname before. Or at least, nothing that wasn’t along the lines of “wallflower” or “loser” or “virgin” (although she supposed that last one wasn’t so much a pejorative as a wholly accurate description). It felt nice, if a little unexpected this early in what she hoped would eventually become a friendship between them.

“Ash?” She repeated.

“Sorry,” Chris said, “I was just trying to be friendly and I just thought that might, uh, I dunno…”

“I like it,” Ashley reassured him, “It just, um—oh, this is going to sound so stupid—”

“Nothing you could ever say would be stupid,” Chris cut her off, then blushed. Ash felt her own cheeks warm up a bit.

“No,” she said, “It’s just, it makes me think of Pokémon is all.”

“Dude! I love Pokémon!” Chris said, “Do you play?”

“Just Diamond and Pearl,” Ash told him, “I grew up with the anime though.”

“Me too, man.” The two of them started to walk to the coffee shop. “I always kinda felt bad for Team Rocket though,” Chris continued as they walked.

“Me too,” Ash replied, “But I lost sympathy for them whenever they made Dawn feel bad. I had a pretty big soft spot for her.”

“Dude, the _world_ made Dawn feel bad.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

\------------

What Ashley didn’t know was that one Joshua Washington was lying in wait with his costumed little sister, poised to begin the operation as soon as Chris and Ash left the coffee shop. The pyrotechnics guy had been a no-go, unfortunately, but that was but a small setback in the grand scheme of what he had deemed “Operation Peanuts.” Everything was in place. Hannah was masked and ready to go. Josh would not rest until Chris got his own personal Little Red-Haired Girl. After everything Chris had done for him through the years, it was really the least he could do.

Emily had told him once that his penchant for playing matchmaker “bordered on creepy power fantasy”, and while he thought the “creepy” part was debatable, he’d at least admit to himself that he did sort of like how powerful it made him feel. More than that, though, he was just tickled by the idea of Chris having a girlfriend who was just as awkward and romantically incompetent as he was, and from what he could tell, Ashley seemed like a dead ringer.

Josh whipped out his phone and texted Chris:

 

**As soon as u guys are heading out text me “It’s Alive” and we’ll commence**

 

He looked over at his sister, who was wringing her hands nervously and stealing glances out of the alleyway where they were hidden every five seconds or so.

“You alright there, sparky?” Josh asked.

“Yeah,” Hannah said, “It’s just, I know it’s just a dumb little prank, but what if we hurt her feelings or something? It’s scary to have somebody run up to you and take your stuff, even if we’re just playing around.”

Josh gave her a supportive smile.

“Hey, if you don’t feel comfortable with his whole thing, we can call it off. I don’t wanna make you do it if you don’t want to.”

“No,” Hannah said, “I want to help, I just want to make sure that—”

The sound of Chris's familiar laugh cut her off, and Josh peered out of the alleyway to see Chris and Ashley walking out of the shop, lost in conversation. Chris must have forgotten to text him, or had just backed out last minute. Ether one was likely, really. Before he could think of what to do, Hannah leapt from her crouching position and bounded toward Chris and Ashley.

“Hannah, no!” Josh cried and ran after her. Hannah was running blind at the pair of them, letting out a yell that was probably meant to sound intimidating but instead just sounded terrified. Ashley dove behind Chris and screamed. Chris himself looked to be at a complete loss. Josh grabbed his sister’s arm to stop her approach. As soon as Hannah snapped out of her wild impulse, she buried her (still masked) face in her hands and let out a groan.

“Oh my god, I’m so, so sorry,” she whimpered, “I just, I saw them coming and I panicked.”

“It’s okay,” Josh soothed her. He turned to Chris and Ashley, who were just standing there, apparently unsure of what to do, and said, “Hey, uh, how you guys doing tonight?”

“What the hell?” Ashley squeaked.

“Ashley,” Chris said through gritted teeth, “Meet Hannah and Josh.”

Josh offered his hand. Ashley didn’t take it. Chris glared at him.

“Hey,” Hannah said suddenly, apparently having collected herself enough to talk again, “Shouldn’t you have a purse, Ashley?”

Ashley’s hand flung to her side.

“Oh my god,” she said, “You’re right. I must have left it in the bathroom back there.”

“Wanna go get it?” Chris said, “Leave these guys to terrorize somebody else?”

“Yeah,” Ashley replied, wasting no time in heading back to the shop, stealing nervous glances back and Hannah and Josh every few steps. Chris followed suit, giving Josh one last death glare as he went. Hannah hung her head.

“Oh, I feel so terrible,” she sighed, “We scared the daylights out of that poor girl.”

“It’ll be fine,” Josh assured her, “Something tells me Ashley isn’t the type to hold a grudge.”

\------------ 

A lot of things you say to people sound really nice in theory. “I’ll pay for it,” for instance. It certainly helped to get Lauren out of her funk, but as Matt balked at the prices of even the bite-sized appetizers in this restaurant, he realized that he’d walked himself into more than a little bit of a mess. He’d heard from Lauren’s last boyfriend that she loved this place, but her last boyfriend had been the son of a tech mogul from Silicon Valley, so, yeah, of course he was going to recommend some ridiculously expensive place to eat. He’d probably be able to put it on his card, but his folks would get pissed at him for not managing his money.

Well, he didn’t have much of a choice at this point, did he?

“So,” Lauren said, looking up at him from her menu, “What are you thinking?”

“Honestly? I think I might just get a flatbread,” Matt replied.

“Just a flatbread?” Lauren looked shocked that Matt was actually going for a small amount of food.

“I’m not that hungry,” Matt told her. Lauren grinned.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Matt Ellis?”

“I’m not always hungry!” Matt protested.

“Says the guy who ate three and a half burgers in one hour.”

“That was _one time_!”

They’d finally managed to slip into their usual routine of teasing, flirting and bantering when one of the waitresses (a girl Matt recognized as a graduated former classmate) looked up from the plates she was clearing and said to a nearby coworker:

“Hey, isn’t that Mike Munroe?”

Matt felt his heart drop into his stomach. If Mike was getting food at a place like this, there was only one person he could be with. Matt turned in his seat before he could stop himself and sure enough, there he was.

And there _she_ was.

Emily looked positively radiant. She wore a short black dress and a pair of painful-looking high-heeled sandals that looked like they were made of silver and gold. Her hair was done back in a sleek, tasteful updo and whatever makeup she was wearing made her chestnut eyes captivate him from ten feet away. She had a hand on Mike’s arm while Mike schmoozed with the hostess. Matt couldn’t hear what Mike was saying, but judging by the rather forced smile Em had on her face, he guessed that Mike liked what he saw in the hostess and was not shy about letting her know. Emily’s free hand balled up into a fist.

_Quite a catch, you got there, Em. Real quality guy._

“What’s _she_ doing here?” Lauren’s voice was sharp. A couple of people around their table looked up curiously. Mike and Em were, thankfully, too far away to notice.

“I guess she and Mike decided to have dinner here tonight too,” Matt said cautiously, “Is everything okay?”

“It won’t be if you’re staring at her tits all night, Matt.”

“I wasn’t staring at her!”

“Oh, like hell you weren’t,” Lauren practically snarled. “You’ve had it bad for her ever since you met her. Honestly, you’re the worst liar I’ve ever met.”

“Well, even if that’s true, she’s taken, isn’t she?” Matt said, trying and failing to keep his voice completely even and calm, “And so am I.”

Lauren said nothing. She picked up her menu and seethed into it. Matt had seen her jealous, but nothing like this.

“Lauren, do you and Em have some kind of problem?”

“Problem…?” Lauren’s growing rage seemed to be making it difficult for her to form words. “Emily…? I’ll…oh I’ll tell you about Emily.” She paused then, seemingly waiting for Em and Mike to get within earshot. And lo and behold, just as the couple was being ushered to their table and passed by Matt and Lauren the latter yelled, “Emily is a _bitch!_ And her last name sounds like a law firm!”

 _Now_ people were staring. Matt fought the urge to bury his head in his hands. Emily, for her part, walked right by the fuming Lauren, completely unfazed. Matt thought he saw Mike smirking at him out of the corner of his eye.

_Asshole._

_\------------_  

“Thanks for letting me come along with you and your mom,” Chris said to Ashley. His new friend looked up from the telescope she was setting up and gave him a warm smile.

“Don’t worry about it,” she told him, “I guess I just kinda feel bad about the hang out thing being such a disaster. I mean, you seemed like you were looking forward to it, and to have it ruined by your friends’ weird prank…”she trailed off.

“Yeah,” Chris said, “Definitely not the best time.” There were some secrets people took to the grave. He supposed his role in the “pretend-to-save-Ashley-from-peril” nonsense would be one of them. “They’re actually pretty nice, though, Josh and Hannah. Josh just has a weird sense of humor.”

“So I gathered,” Ashley snarked. She made some final adjustments to the telescope and gave it a brief test. “Alright mom,” she called, “It’s ready!”

Ashley’s mother, a tired looking woman with blocky glasses and faded red hair, walked over to them, carrying a covered pot and a small stack of paper plates.

“Here, let me help you with that, Ms. Cohen,” Chris offered.

“Why, thank you, Chris!” Ms. Cohen said, letting him take the plates and set them out on the picnic blanket they’d set up earlier. “Ever the gentleman.”

The three of them sat down on the blanket, helping themselves to the cabbage rolls Ashley’s mother had made, and _oohed_ and _ahhed_ at the shooting starts they were able to see with the naked eye. Every now and again Ash or her mom would look through the telescope to get a better view. After a while of this, Ashley walked back from the telescope and sat next to Chris, turning to him.

“Do you wanna look?” She asked. It took Chris a second to realize she meant the telescope.

“Yeah, I mean, if that’s okay,” he said (although he was in the middle of eating a cabbage roll, so it sounded more like “Yerh, er merhn, urf thrt’sh erhker”).

“It’s fine,” Ash reassured him (she’d understood his words somehow), and motioned toward the telescope. “Go on.”

Chris complied and peered through. Immediately he was glad he’d agreed. The white-silver glory of the falling stars was magnified to incredible degrees of beauty through the telescope.

“Wow,” he breathed.

“See what I mean?” Ashley called up to him.

“Yeah,” Chris replied, too awestruck to say anything more.

He couldn’t have expected it to have ended up like this, but as far as first dates go (was it premature to call them dates?) this one wasn’t so bad after all.

\------------

“By the way,” Mike said as he closed his bedroom door behind them, “Did you recognize the girl who was bitching you out at dinner?”

“No,” Emily said, then stopped and thought. She _had_ seemed familiar. She just couldn’t quite put her finger on— _aha._

“You know what?” Em said, “I think that was the bitch I made cry at the debate comp last year. _Damn,_ she can hold a grudge!”

“Well, I know if I were driven to tears by the mighty Emily Tanaka-Clarke, I’d consider it the one brush with greatness I’d ever have in my mundane life.”

“You’re so full of shit.”

“And you love it,” Mike purred as he put his hands around her waist. A fire lit itself deep inside her. Emily had no idea what to do with her hands. She shook with desire and anticipation and far more fear than she’d ever like to admit. _Oh god this is it oh god it’s really happening oh god oh god oh god—_

“Does my last name really sound like a law firm?” she blurted. _Damn it, Em!_

Her boyfriend contemplated for a minute. His eyes gleamed.

“Your last name sounds like the kind a sexy, no-bullshit attorney would have. One who wore a killer dress with a slit up the side to the funeral of the husband she murdered,” Mike said at last. Emily giggled.

“Replace ‘attorney’ with ‘magazine editor’ and you’ve pretty much got my dream life down cold.”

“You’re actually planning on murdering your husband?”

“Not _planning,_ per se,” Emily said, “But I do have high standards. And if he doesn’t measure up one day…” She moved a finger over her throat in a way that she hoped looked sexy or charming or cute or at the very least not completely stupid.

“High standards, huh? Am I meeting them right now?”, Mike asked.

“Why don’t we find out?” Emily replied. Her heart was hammering in her chest. Instinctively, her hand moved over to her bag to assure herself that the wrapped condoms she’d brought were indeed still there.

She’d be fine. Jess had walked her though it. There was no way she would mess it up.

“Easy, tiger,” Mike chuckled as they moved to his bed and sat down. “Let’s not take this too fast.” He changed the position of his hands; put one on her shoulder, one on her thigh. “Why don’t we start with a little…making out, and see where it goes from there?”

“Sounds good to me,” Emily replied. Mike leaned in and kissed her, starting gentle and steadily getting rougher with each subsequent kiss. Emily responded in kind, doing her best to ignore the fact that her stomach was doing backflips.

_I can do this. I can do this. I can do this._

\------------

Jessica was awakened by the sound of someone rapping against her window. She sat up in the dark and rubbed her eyes. She stole a look at her clock. 12:36. Jess sighed and slid out of bed, careful to step into her velvet red slippers before her bare feet touched the cold floor. There was only one person who knew how to get onto her roof.

“Em?” Jess whispered as she unlatched and opened her window. Her best friend looked positively miserable. Her hair fell messily about her face and her makeup was smeared from crying. “Em, honey,” Jess cooed, “What happened?”

“I couldn’t do it,” Emily whimpered. She moved into Jessica’s room without her invitation and sat down on her bed, staring at the floor. Jess closed her window and sat down beside her best friend, running a hand soothingly up and down her back. Emily sniffed. “We, we were g-gonna do it, like, we were in the m-middle of making out and we were g-gonna take it further, and I just…I couldn’t breathe. I was so scared…” She put her head in between her knees. Jessica massaged her back.

“Oh, hon,” Jess said, “It _is_ scary. I was terrified my first time.”

“But did you pussy out on the guy?”

“No, I didn’t,” Jess conceded, “But that doesn’t matter. Everybody’s different that way. Some people are ready at fifteen and some people are ready at twenty-five. There’s nothing wrong with not being ready yet.”

“He’s gonna break up with me…”

“He’s _not_ gonna break up with you,” Jess said, her voice firm. “Mike’s an asshole, but he’s not gonna dump you just because he couldn’t get his dick wet one time. And if he does, then he’s a stupid shallow man-child who doesn’t know true beauty when he sees it, and you’re better off without him anyway.”

Emily laughed. The sound was ragged and wet.

“S-stupid boys,” she croaked, “We should just date each other.”

“Yeah,” Jess said, and laughed, a bit uncomfortably. “Well, I’m up for grabs if you want me.” She was only half-joking.

“I’m taken,” Emily replied, “But thanks for the offer. I’ll keep it in mind.”

“You better,” Jess teased. “Hey, you wanna stay here tonight? I can call your parents—”

“Mom’s out of town, and Tobias won’t give a shit,” Em cut her off.

“If you say so,” Jess said. She forced back a gag at the mention of Emily’s stepdad. _What a shitbag,_ she thought bitterly. “Why don’t you wash up, Em? I’ve got an extra toothbrush and some pajamas you can use.”

“Thanks,” Em said after a moment. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath before standing up and heading into the bathroom. Jess heard her phone buzz on her bedside table. She picked it up and glanced at the message, which came, as she’d expected, from Mike:

 

**hey is em with you? she took off kind of suddenly**

**and I guess** **I figured shed end up at your place**   

 

Jessica typed out a reply and sent it:

 

**yeah shes here, i think shes gonna stay the night**

**is everything ok? she seems upset**

 

Mike’s reply was fast:

 

**Yeah, I think she just got kinda nervous. we were taking it a little too fast tonight I think**

**Is she okay though?**

 

Jessica responded:

 

**yeah she's ok. ill take care of her tonight and one of my dads will take her home tomorrow**

 

Mike’s response:

 

**oh, good. thanks for looking out for her. night, Jess**

 

Jess replied:

 

**just doing my bff duties. nightynight ladykiller**

**ps ur doing a good job w/ her so far but just so u know if u ever do anything to hurt her ill kick your ass**

 

Mike’s reply:

 

**Yes ma'am.**

 

Jess’s reply:

 

**good boy. Goodnight**

 

Jess put her phone back on her bedside table and chuckled softly to herself. _Moron._ She wondered momentarily how she’d ended up with such a squadron of dorks for friends.

About an hour later Emily and Jessica lay side by side in Jess’s bed. Emily was asleep, Jess close to it. She was sleepy enough to let herself be entertained by the kind of dopey, love-struck thoughts she’d never allow herself to have while fully conscious. Emily was adorable when she slept. You wanted to put her in your pocket and take her home with you. _Lucky me_ , Jess thought to herself, _I’ve already got her there._  Her feelings for Emily confused her at times, but in the thralls of drowsiness she could stop worrying about what it all meant and just enjoy the little tune her heart hummed when she gazed upon her friend’s (so seldom) peaceful face. All her friends may be total dorks, she thought to herself as she drifted off, but at least they’re fiendishly attractive dorks.

\------------

“Well,” Sam said, “This is a disaster.” She kicked at a small gathering of rocks and watched them roll down the hillside. Overhead the star-riddled sky occasionally lit up with meteors streaking past as they burned up in the atmosphere. They’d scoured what had felt like the entire mountain range to no avail. The cabin she’d found and refurbished had, for whatever reason, simply failed to present itself. All that planning and preparation, gone to waste.

“Oh, come on, you’re being too hard on yourself,” Beth told her, walking up to stand beside her and planting a quick kiss on her cheek. “The impromptu scavenger hunt was kinda fun, honestly.” Sam shook her head.

“It’s just—I wanted to give you a nice, romantic surprise, and I ended up leading us in circles for a whole day,” Sam sighed.

“You don’t have to do anything special for me, Sam. You know that.”

“Yeah, but—” Sam began, but didn’t have time to finish. As she turned to face her girlfriend her foot came down wrong on a bit of loose earth, sending her tumbling down the hillside.

“SAM!” Beth called after her.

The mountainside blurred as Sam fell. She landed hard on her back and lay there, stunned, while her girlfriend slid carefully down to her.

“Sam, are you alright?” Beth asked as she kneeled by Sam’s side and began checking her for serious injuries.

“I hate mountains,” Sam groaned.

“Yeah right, climbing fanatic,” Beth teased. “The day you walk away from mountain climbing is the day hell freezes over. Can you sit up?”

“Yeah,” Sam mumbled, “Yeah, I’m fine.” She shifted to a sitting position and looked around. She’d landed on an outcropping about eight feet wide and ten feet across. It afforded a nice view of the rest of the Santa Monica range, and of the starry sky overhead. It wasn’t such a bad place, considering that she’d had to fall off a cliff to find it. _Come to think of it,_ she thought to herself as Beth sat beside her and put an arm around her shoulders, _it’s actually kind of romantic._

“Hey, look,” Beth said, and pointed to the road far below, “I can see where we parked.”

“Oh, good,” Sam said, a little distractedly, “At least we’re not lost anymore. Wanna watch the stars for a bit?”

Beth nodded. At least there was the meteor shower.

The two sat quietly for a bit as meteor after meteor shot through the sky, leaving a ghostly white trail in its wake. Then Beth spoke.

“I’m sorry your plan didn’t end up working out,” Beth said. “I still had a really fun time.”

“Thanks for putting up with me today,” Sam replied apologetically.

“Jesus, woman, when are you gonna get it through your skull?” Beth chastised her, “I don’t put up with you—I love you. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth.”

Sam rested her head on Beth’s shoulder.

“I love you too. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“How about this,” Beth offered, “Next weekend—” she stopped and thought—“Or maybe the weekend after that, because I have a concert next week; we can go up to that hot springs place and spend the day there.”

Sam blushed.

“Hot springs? Like, ‘get naked and hang around in the water with strangers’ hot springs?”

“We wouldn’t have to go to one of the public pools,” Beth reassured her, “We could rent out one of the private rooms, if we wanted.” Sam’s face got even hotter than before. “That sound good?” Beth asked.

“That sounds perfect,” Sam said. The two girls sat side by side, basking in each other’s warmth and taking in the celestial splendor before them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> This fic started out as a short oneshot about the early days of Mike and Emily's relationship, and somehow it mutated into this abomination. I honestly have no idea how that happened. Props to you if you made it through the whole gargantuan thing. Fun fact: this is the very first fanfic I've ever published. It was pretty fun to write. I love Until Dawn and have a lot of ideas for other things I might want to write. If anybody's interested, I'm presently writing an "Inverted Good Ending" AU where Josh makes it out of the mines and everyone else becomes a wendigo in his stead. Let me know if you're interested!


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